{"product_id":"no-condom-in-my-wallet-because-the-only-thing-im-fucking-is-stupid","title":"No Condom In My Wallet Because The Only Thing I'm Fucking Is Stupid","description":"This tee carries a sharp, unapologetic voice—bold block text across the chest that reads like a punchline from a friend who never softens the truth. The medium-weight, 100% cotton fabric feels substantial but breathable, and the classic crew cut keeps the silhouette straightforward so the message takes center stage. Wear it when you want to spark a laugh, make a blunt statement, or lean into a darker, sardonic sense of humor. The clean white backdrop makes the black print pop, and the tubular knit construction gives a tidy, seam-free look that sits flat and true. It’s made to last: sturdy stitching, a ribbed collar that keeps shape, and printed with crisp techniques for clear lettering that resists fading. This shirt settles into everyday life—paired with worn denim for weekend hangs or layered under a jacket when the room needs an edge.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% medium-weight cotton (180 g\/m²) for durable, breathable comfort\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular knit with no side seams for a smooth, classic look\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed knit collar and shoulder tape to retain shape and prevent stretching\u003cbr\u003e- High-clarity printing: combination of DTF (sleeves\/labels) and DTG for sharp black text\u003cbr\u003e- OEKO-TEX® certified; tear-away label and ethically sourced US cotton\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Do not iron\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":52929528889625,"sku":"30063267259979382780","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ S","offer_id":52929528922393,"sku":"24585326698581923693","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":52929528955161,"sku":"77577620278216470709","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":52929528987929,"sku":"65071675545745098032","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":52929529020697,"sku":"59492546203280975220","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ M","offer_id":52929529053465,"sku":"23073731157304875717","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":52929529086233,"sku":"84259443923634869517","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":52929529119001,"sku":"28392444500339812112","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":52929529151769,"sku":"78560522011758825933","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ L","offer_id":52929529184537,"sku":"31833741500166338725","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":52929529217305,"sku":"30679635089045389377","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":52929529250073,"sku":"20402436665608789084","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":52929529282841,"sku":"93706536210090655462","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ XL","offer_id":52929529315609,"sku":"22879795750252745444","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":52929529348377,"sku":"28167978598912391955","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":52929529381145,"sku":"14669018775435650607","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":52929529413913,"sku":"20004194815588904324","price":21.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":52929529446681,"sku":"23213539795655528911","price":21.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":52929529479449,"sku":"51278472010406436319","price":21.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":52929529512217,"sku":"21742091139548792877","price":21.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":52929529544985,"sku":"11652059962601875881","price":22.33,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":52929529577753,"sku":"11843747527126645709","price":22.33,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":52929529610521,"sku":"23772239055261639545","price":22.33,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":52929529643289,"sku":"10981069628525639439","price":22.33,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":52929529676057,"sku":"18081455542274823257","price":22.8,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":52929529708825,"sku":"32975349013331020062","price":22.8,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":52929529741593,"sku":"19939687001759696613","price":22.8,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":52929529774361,"sku":"16326575583413914866","price":22.79,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":52929529807129,"sku":"55226140626698697341","price":22.79,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":52929529839897,"sku":"56320732871533229778","price":22.79,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0939\/2141\/1353\/files\/11304843925701734688_2048.jpg?v=1785693413","url":"https:\/\/unwearableshirtz.com\/products\/no-condom-in-my-wallet-because-the-only-thing-im-fucking-is-stupid","provider":"UnwearableShirtz","version":"1.0","type":"link"}